Last week, while out of the country with my hubby,
I received a distressing email from a colleague removing me from a writing
project. It wasn’t her decision, and while she tried to spill the beans as
gently as possible, the news still wounded, inflamed jealousy, and incited
anger. My head understood the reasons why, but my heart felt that I deserved
more for the hours logged tapping keys. Ill-timed in the middle of a glorious
trip in the Serengeti Desert, perhaps the earth-shattering update could’ve
waited for a face to face conversation. Still, there's no such thing as perfect timing for painful news, is there?
Life is filled with the unexpected, isn’t it? We
never anticipate what is around the next bend in the road. Most of the time, we
truck along without thinking about any potential head-on crashes or side
swipes. We don’t anticipate someone or something interrupting our smooth
sailing, and in a split second, life changes.
The surprising diagnosis of breast cancer, startling
death of a loved one, abrupt end of a marriage, miscarriage in late pregnancy, estranged
family relationship, unplanned pregnancy, loss of a writing job can happen as
sudden as it takes to send an email across the world. Unfortunately, I know
real live people, including me, who have been the recipients of such
devastating reports in recent days.
Unfortunately, sucking in breath on God’s green
earth equates to facing disappointment at some point. I can’t press the escape
or delete key when it comes to tragedy. Because I live in a broken world,
unforeseen events come with the territory. I can choose, however, how I respond
to these unplanned catastrophes.
My human nature cries, “Unfair!” I certainly
deserve better than this, right?! The very phrase I spout so quickly to my
children comes ringing back in my ear, “Life is not fair.” It’s so much easier
to say than experience. The two year old in me emits its ugly self as I pout
and stomp my feet in rebellion against this unpredicted bend in the road. I
didn’t ask for this interruption, and the world will know it.
Yet, there is another way to handle these crises
that crash into my life without warning. I’ve coined it, “But…God,” simply
because when I frame the disruption of my plan in the light of His purpose, my perspective changes.
Down deep, I am convinced God desires the best for me, so I know He will
somehow work good in even this out of the blue predicament. And yes, the Enemy
lurks, evil abounds and life happens, so I shouldn’t be surprised that my
journey feels like a roller coaster that jumped off the tracks.
Still, God promises His presence always, in every
situation, no matter how ugly. And I’ve witnessed that truth firsthand—through
divorce, single-parenting, financial pressures, parenting teens, difficult
family relationships and now this writing obstacle. I don’t understand God’s
plan and purpose, but He sees what I do not see. His vision is perfect; mine is
flawed. Thus, while I deal with disappointment and specifically this setback, I
trust God to work more of His character in me and reveal my new direction.
What disappointments have you faced? What has been
your typical response?
“We
can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they
help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and
character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not
lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has
given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5 NLT
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